I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
