I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
