I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
