I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
