you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
