I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
