Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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