forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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