Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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