I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
