shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
