So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
