textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
