She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
