This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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