she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize