is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
