are you so shy because you have an std?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
