no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
