She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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