I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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