ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
