Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Where are you guys?
Drunk
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
