Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Randomize
