im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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