Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
