I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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