it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize