3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
