i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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