...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
