he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
