So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
