My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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