It was confusing and full of hummus
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
