we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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