i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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