Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
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