i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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