hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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