i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
