Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
