Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
