planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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