Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
being pregnant is like rehab
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
