let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
