A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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