It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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