I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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