Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
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