i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
