he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
