She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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