Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
