I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
