Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
