he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
