Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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