Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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