Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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