Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
