u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
