My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
