i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
