dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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